My Boyfriend Is really depressed! He has a serious health problem that
makes him tired and sick all the time. He is in a dead end job that is
sucking the life from him. His family wont even talk to him, they
didn't even call him to wish him happy Birthday! He is Anti-social even
tho he really wants friends and he hates my apt. where we live but he
stay cuz 1: he can't afford to live on his own and 2: He loves me and
wants me to go back to school. I feel helpless! Nothing I say or do
seems to help and we can't afford counseling or therapy and we can't
get him to a doctor because we don't have insurance. I'm at my wits end
here, how can I make him happy or even just make him feel a little
better about the future?
~R
Dear R,
Depression hits all kinds of people all across the spectrum of age,
gender, social standing, financial status, just everywhere. Sometimes
it's caused by a chemical imbalance, yes, but sometimes it's caused by
looking at circumstances instead of opportunities. First of all, is he receiving treatment for his serious health problem. That alone can contribute to depression. Your boyfriend may
have a medical condition that has induced this state of depression and
there is help for that, even without insurance. You will have to look
very hard, though. Some hospitals, clinics and even private practices
offer hardship programs for those who don't have insurance or can't afford proper treatment. Another option is that there may be a church
in your area that has trained counselors on staff. They often provide
services at little or no cost. Even if you're not religious, there will
be help for your boyfriend somewhere. Don't stop looking. Don't be
afraid or ashamed to ask for help. One thing that can help YOU is to
understand that you are not responsible for his depression or his
treatment. Before you get all "But I love him, He needs me..." Yes, all
that is true. And you can be the best support he's got. But remember
this old saying, "You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him
drink." You can find help for him, but it is up to him to take the
steps toward a healthy life. In the meantime, try not to get caught up
in his unhealthy emotional state, but keep yourself healthy and
optimistic. It may be that a few counseling sessions is all he needs to
find the flame that's hiding inside him, or he may need to be on
medication for awhile. Either way, help him to look up, to see the
opportunities and beauty of the simple things. Take a walk in the
sunshine. Have a picnic in the courtyard. Walk in the rain, even! Have
a pillow fight. Have a staring contest. Just look outside your four
walls and have fun.
~Solomon
makes him tired and sick all the time. He is in a dead end job that is
sucking the life from him. His family wont even talk to him, they
didn't even call him to wish him happy Birthday! He is Anti-social even
tho he really wants friends and he hates my apt. where we live but he
stay cuz 1: he can't afford to live on his own and 2: He loves me and
wants me to go back to school. I feel helpless! Nothing I say or do
seems to help and we can't afford counseling or therapy and we can't
get him to a doctor because we don't have insurance. I'm at my wits end
here, how can I make him happy or even just make him feel a little
better about the future?
~R
Dear R,
Depression hits all kinds of people all across the spectrum of age,
gender, social standing, financial status, just everywhere. Sometimes
it's caused by a chemical imbalance, yes, but sometimes it's caused by
looking at circumstances instead of opportunities. First of all, is he receiving treatment for his serious health problem. That alone can contribute to depression. Your boyfriend may
have a medical condition that has induced this state of depression and
there is help for that, even without insurance. You will have to look
very hard, though. Some hospitals, clinics and even private practices
offer hardship programs for those who don't have insurance or can't afford proper treatment. Another option is that there may be a church
in your area that has trained counselors on staff. They often provide
services at little or no cost. Even if you're not religious, there will
be help for your boyfriend somewhere. Don't stop looking. Don't be
afraid or ashamed to ask for help. One thing that can help YOU is to
understand that you are not responsible for his depression or his
treatment. Before you get all "But I love him, He needs me..." Yes, all
that is true. And you can be the best support he's got. But remember
this old saying, "You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him
drink." You can find help for him, but it is up to him to take the
steps toward a healthy life. In the meantime, try not to get caught up
in his unhealthy emotional state, but keep yourself healthy and
optimistic. It may be that a few counseling sessions is all he needs to
find the flame that's hiding inside him, or he may need to be on
medication for awhile. Either way, help him to look up, to see the
opportunities and beauty of the simple things. Take a walk in the
sunshine. Have a picnic in the courtyard. Walk in the rain, even! Have
a pillow fight. Have a staring contest. Just look outside your four
walls and have fun.
~Solomon
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